I had an idea for this blog early last week when I was feeling more like a goddess than I am today. I guess this will be an exercise in faith (in myself) to write at this present moment, as I am feeling worried, tired and unsure.
I bet many of you didn’t know I was a goddess. I too had forgotten that about myself until recently. It sounds conceited, to say the least, but it isn’t. It is beautiful! We all have a picture of our true essence buried somewhere in our conscious or more likely our subconscious. Finding it, seeing it and feeling it is an amazing gift to ourselves and everyone around us. When I was able to do that myself, it was overwhelming. I recognized it immediately. It is what I am all about, what fills my heart and resonates with my soul. The word that came to me was goddess. A goddess of all that is me!
Then I asked myself who can sees that goddess in me? My Dad, my Gram, my first love Jon, my old friend Todd, my new friend James and my best friend Anne, to name a few. There are specific memories or times that I can recall, with each of these people, where I felt so beautiful, appreciated and full of love…just like a goddess. I know that their love has helped me see that in myself.
I also know there are more people who can see it too, like my Mom or my husband…but I don’t think I let them or I am not aware. That is the painful part. I am aware that seeing and feeling like a goddess depends a lot on what I allow. I see that when I hold back my true essence, for what ever reason be it hurt, insecurity, anger, or sadness, that goddess is no where in sight. That beautiful person with robes of love, understanding, healing and laughter…is gone. How sad. That is exactly the person who needs to some shining through to guide those relationships to a new place of joy and peace. When I am unaware of who else might see it, I miss the affirmation of being truly seen and the chance to return the gift.
So with this awareness and honesty I intend to move forward as the goddess I am, to fulfill the purpose of my heart without holding back. I challenge each of you who read this, to spend some time sitting with the idea of your true essence and see what comes up. I see you as amazing and beautiful….do you see it too?
March 5, 2009 at 12:35 am
Yes you are! Today, I worked a few miles from Camp Wood in the flint hills. I worked on a beautiful property with a log cabin house, stable, out building and soon to be guess house. It was at the top of a hill and I could see clear sky for miles. Although, I was working I was still able to listen to the birds, hawks cry, and wind blow through the pines. Once in a while I turned around to look if there was a brown leaf crinkling across the ground as the wind blew it or if it might have been a rattle snake. It was a Beautiful property. I don’t find myself in the place you are talking about as often as I have. I guess, as a metaphor, there are too many billboard signs and I read them. Being a foreman…and “Ease on Down the Road”…One of them is more arm strong. I see it in my kids.
March 5, 2009 at 5:17 pm
to be a goddess is a beautiful thing to let others see it those who really matter in our lives can difficult old ways old patterns being goddess also shows us our true capbilities in us . Yes i recognize it in you far harder in myself .
March 5, 2009 at 8:07 pm
It’s true! For those who love God and want to feel His presence, we each have the title Princess or Prince to the inheritance of the Kingdom. When I learned that all the orphans that are in the Homes of Hope in India are told they are Princes and Princesses with Jesus, I was overcome with the idea that we each are, but we must believe it, own it and live it! Onward my friend, I love you!!
March 9, 2009 at 3:47 pm
Yes, Yes, Yes- Divine Goddess! We are all Divine, we just have to remember. Those hurts and insecurities are road blocks that get in the way, and our love gets hidden, and especially in me, I back down and away, afraid to be hurt or loved again. Crazy I know, for I give up what I am truely seeking. I am so excited for you! To hear your affirmation to truely be the GODDESS you are… and in that, it gives me the desire to be the Goddess in me. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!